She might have dismissed the apology, told him that she had allowed herself in such a situation and that it wasn't his fault whatsoever. But he doesn't give her the opportunity, and Riza imagines this was intentional as he presses on.
What throws her more than the apology is his offer, and immediately her shoulders sink. It presents a reality that she hadn't considered, that perhaps Roland didn't care to continue this charade. That he could have been just as coerced into this marriage as she had been. That he didn't care for her, not as a wife--and the thought is surprisingly painful.
"No. I don't--" this is a realm of human emotion that Riza is just plain unfamiliar with. Her parents were no model, and she was single at home. Naturally reserved, articulating such emotion is hard for her. "That isn't what I meant. It's part of the circumstance, but I..."
She peers up at him through through her fringe of hair, and there is a tinge of pink on her cheeks. "I am happy with you."
Roland releases a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and he laughs, low and quiet. "I'm glad." He catches himself from continuing, from agreeing that it would make him very happy were she to stay, but realizes her answer may change once she heard his side of the story. His expression hardens, and he looks down at her - adorable as she was, blushing at her own husband - and knows that she is a much better person than him, to have told the truth first.
"Before you say that, though, there's something you should hear." It was one thing to lie under duress, but Roland had kept a grave secret from her - something that affected more than his own personal life. He breaks eye contact, as he was wont to do when he was nervous, one of very few tells that betrayed his stoic personality. "I'm not from this world, either, in a manner of speaking..."
She's learned his nervous tics, the miniscule tells that identify when something isn't quite right--and before he even speaks, the shifting of his gaze says more than he might realize. She thinks to herself that he would probably be bad at poker.
"But..." Riza tilts her head, confusion writ in her face. "You have a life here. Understand the technology." A pause, uncertain, "you have people who know you. Who have known you."
"Even being able to blend in well, I could never fabricate those relationships. But at our wedding..." she remembers the crowd of happy faces, making a guest list and having no names to add herself. But there isn't any anger on her face--just confusion. "I don't understand."
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What throws her more than the apology is his offer, and immediately her shoulders sink. It presents a reality that she hadn't considered, that perhaps Roland didn't care to continue this charade. That he could have been just as coerced into this marriage as she had been. That he didn't care for her, not as a wife--and the thought is surprisingly painful.
"No. I don't--" this is a realm of human emotion that Riza is just plain unfamiliar with. Her parents were no model, and she was single at home. Naturally reserved, articulating such emotion is hard for her. "That isn't what I meant. It's part of the circumstance, but I..."
She peers up at him through through her fringe of hair, and there is a tinge of pink on her cheeks. "I am happy with you."
no subject
"Before you say that, though, there's something you should hear." It was one thing to lie under duress, but Roland had kept a grave secret from her - something that affected more than his own personal life. He breaks eye contact, as he was wont to do when he was nervous, one of very few tells that betrayed his stoic personality. "I'm not from this world, either, in a manner of speaking..."
no subject
"But..." Riza tilts her head, confusion writ in her face. "You have a life here. Understand the technology." A pause, uncertain, "you have people who know you. Who have known you."
"Even being able to blend in well, I could never fabricate those relationships. But at our wedding..." she remembers the crowd of happy faces, making a guest list and having no names to add herself. But there isn't any anger on her face--just confusion. "I don't understand."